Dear Men, I’m Sorry I Faked Those Orgasms

"Fake Orgasm"

Dear Men,

If only you knew the lengths I go to to protect you from your own feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. I know you want so much to be what you think a “real man” is, and I can see your pain and I can feel your fragility when you fail to reach this ridiculous ideal society has put on you. You think you’re fooling me, and I play along because I know my honesty would wound you. If only you knew that I actually accept you just as you are, and that I admire you in those moments you show vulnerability. Vulnerability is not the same as weakness. To me, weakness is when I see you disown your true self in exchange for stereotypical “maleness.” It provokes feelings of pity for you, and I know that pity is the last thing you want. To be vulnerable is to be honest and open, and it is always beautiful and worthy of respect. I know that you’d rather I be honest and have respect for you.

I’m sorry I thought I had to protect you from your feelings. I’m sorry I faked those orgasms to make you feel like the “real man” you wanted to be. I’m sorry I never corrected your false belief that my orgasm comes from you and not from me. I’m sorry I didn’t correct you when you tried to act out a porno you saw on the Internet with me, where the woman was acting and faking her orgasm, and you thought that’s what you had to do to please a woman. I’m sorry I didn’t remind you that porn is fake sex, and is not a good source of information on what I enjoy doing sexually. I know you were just trying to be a “real man,” and I thought you were too fragile to handle the truth. I’m sorry for underestimating you. It’s partly my fault you’re so misinformed. I’m making the commitment today to be more honest with you, and I apologize for assuming you were too weak to handle the truth. I know you’re stronger than that.

Love,

Courtenay

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4 Comments on “Dear Men, I’m Sorry I Faked Those Orgasms”

  1. Hunter says:

    Great post! Women often leave it up to their partners to get them off. It’s our responsibility too.
    Check out my blog for more sex positive pondering.

    http://www.hunterrileysexeducation.com

    Hunter

  2. Honesty is so important, especially with sex. Lying about orgasming and then belittling your partner for it is unacceptable behaviour imo.

    • Courtenay says:

      Honesty is important! I’m 30 now, but I faked some orgasms with an ex when I was in my early 20s, and even though I regretted it in the moment and after, I was so afraid to hurt his feelings. I didn’t even know what an orgasm was at that age lol!

      Thanks for reading 🙂


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