“Every being wants to give love and receive love when born into this world. If it is denied this, it will experience unbelievable disappointment and begin to delimit itself from something in which it apparently is not to have a part, and to defend itself.
Love being such a tremendous power, its shadow side also comes to expression in enormously powerful feelings: jealously, revenge, hatred, envy, resentment, malice. These feelings, and none of us is entirely free of them, either come out into the open or continue at more unconscious levels, when they may form the emotional basis for serious diseases.
This, then, is a particular reason why we need to recognize and acknowledge these profoundly human negative feelings in ourselves, for they mirror our innermost needs. They show what we do not have but dearly would like to have, and so provide an opportunity to make the right efforts to have our needs met.
Envy for instance is a feeling that is widespread today, not only in the business world, but also in so-called spiritual circles. Secretly, one wonders how far the other has got, whether he has already ‘reached a higher stage’. People who have entered on the spiritual path have a particular need for love and being able to open up, and such feelings will of necessity arise until at last the step is taken from separatedness to unity, and we found God in our own hearts.
The morbid jealousy that keenly looks for anything that will cause suffering is the classical, tragic example of the desire for love in a negative key. Someone who is isolated in his heart and has turned away from love, and now has found another towards whom his desire for love can be directed, will feel himself constantly in danger of losing this love, for, having no knowledge of love himself, he is unable to let it flow forth. Instead, he radiates uncertainly and his fears, and as a logical result finds pain.
It is not only the jealous who need to recognize that love focused wholly on another human being cannot in the long run gain fulfillment, unless it is at the same time, and as a primary aim, also looking for divine unity as its goal.
In the case of jealousy, distinction needs to be made between the morbid and the ‘normal’ forms. The latter will temporarily arise in any loving relationship. When the highest feelings of love are activated the counterpart will inevitably also be activated, a law that provides the impetus for a further step in development.
We should develop a keen ear for people who say they are so tolerant that they know no jealousy. It is highly improbable that this is a serene, wise person. One would rather suspect that he has already gone so far towards death in his heart that he no longer is able to suffer and to love.” – Mechthild Scheffer, BACH Flower Therapy: Theory and Practice